Finding yourself stuck in the same cycle of conflict over and over
All couples develop a certain pattern of how they interact during conflict. Sometimes this pattern can get really rigid and it can feel impossible to understand each other. Couples therapy can help to de-escalate this pattern and develop more flexible ways of interacting with each other.
Feeling disconnected from each other, feeling like roommates but longing for more closeness and intimacy
Sometimes instead of being a source of comfort and protection to one another, couples experience the opposite and the relationship itself can be a source of distress. Couples therapy can be a safe place to explore what is blocking your connection to one another. It can increase your sense of emotional safety with each other and lead to being able to be more emotionally responsive and connected.
Experiencing infidelity or other betrayal and needing help repairing and healing
When there has been a breach of trust in a relationship, both partners can feel lost and helpless about how to move forward. Sometimes it feels impossible to have a productive conversation without one or both people escalating or shutting down. Couples therapy can provide a process and a map toward healing.
Using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT is considered the “gold standard” for couples therapy) approach to couples therapy, you will learn to identify the negative cycle that keeps you and your partner disconnected and distressed, come to understand what is at the heart of each partner’s experience and learn to be a source of comfort and safety to each other. The goal is to increase each partner’s ability to be emotionally accessible, responsive, and engaged with one another.
Uncertain or not in agreement about the future of your relationship
I also offer relationship decision sessions, which are designed to provide a safe space for you and your spouse to discern the next steps for your relationship.
Many times couples on the brink of divorce are not in alignment about their wishes for the future. One spouse might be “leaning in” to the relationship and the other “leaning out.” Sometimes both partners have mixed and conflicting feelings about how to proceed. Relationship decision sessions are intended to give you and your partner a process to decide together whether you want to continue your relationship without making any changes, end the relationship, or commit to couples therapy for a period of time with the threat of divorce off the table.
The purpose is to get a deeper understanding of the issues in the relationship. Both partners will have an opportunity to reflect on how they have contributed to the problems and what they would each need to do to help the relationship improve. Relationship decision sessions can help you clarify what the issues are and discern if you are both ready to commit to the process of investing in couples therapy.